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Thursday 27th March 2008 |
Fuck-a-doodle-do Elliot fans, 3lliot.com has risen from the dead! After an inexplicable 3 year downtime, you can now once again roll around in the decayed immoral filth that seeps from Elliot's brain and infects the internet. Hoopla!
3lliot.com is sure you've worked yourselves up into a frenzied mess over the last 3 years waiting fervently for news on what Elliot's been doing with his life, so here's a quick summary in picture form:
Just look at those trousers.
We would like to assure you that both Ask Elliot and the magnificent Poo Diaries are back online, fully functioning and freshly updated with brand new steaming content. Mmm! So go and have a little peekski!
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Monday 2nd May 2005 |
Cock slam your cocks Elliot lovers, here's some more answers for Ask Elliot.
Here's a quote from this week's answers: "He gurgled and shat himself..."
Click here now to see what all the fuss is about.
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Saturday 23rd April 2005 |
Word up Elliot chums. 3lliot.com has now completely recovered after being shockingly HACKED at the beginning of the month, and has just sent out the last of 400 complimentary Butt Plugs to those who needed them most.
The new Elliot Satellite Navigation System has finally been completed! Costing just £800 billion and taking 16 years to develop, the new product is set to revolutionize the way sailors navigate. Head over to the products section for more information.
Communications links to Elliot have been under attack from South American guerillas (probably) but Elliot has still managed to answer some more of your questions and transmit them telepathically to 3lliot.com HQ, so check them out.
EXTRA UPDATE Wednesday 27th April - We've just got some new answers in from Elliot. Click here to read them now!
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Wednesday 6th April 2005 |
3lliot.com has been HACKED!
It seems some low-life with a grudge against Elliot's brilliance has decided to hack into 3lliot.com and demand peoples' bank details.
The problem has now been rectified, and Elliot and the 3lliot.com team apologise for any inconvenience this has caused.
3lliot.com would like to offer a free Elliot brand BUTT PLUG to anyone who feels violated (or would like to be further violated) by these recent events. Simply Ask Elliot (nicely).
Also, 3lliot.com should explain that Elliot is currently in South America, as that was the closest to the UK he could afford after leaving Australia, and will be back home in a few weeks. But despite the distance, he has still been able to answer a couple of your questions via 'special technology'.
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Sunday 3rd April |
Pop a wheelie Elliot-disciples, 3lliot.com has risen from the dead with a badass new look just like Jesus once did at about this time of year, although 3lliot.com can't lay badass eggs like Jesus could. Anyway, here's some new photos of Elliot's Australian objective.
Keep sending in your Ask Elliot questions and keep the dream alive brothers and sisters.
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Monday 21st March 2005 |
NEW UPDATE EXCLUSIVE MENTAL
Shut your food-holes Elliot-lovers, 3lliot.com is coming back! After an unexplained absence of 8 months the 3lliot.com team has returned to fix everything and make it 900% awesome again. Over the next few weeks 3lliot.com will have a complete revamp and will once again be regularly updated with glorious Elliot-goodness/juices. Also, we would like to put all your fears to rest - Elliot is still alive and functioning at nearly 80% now. Expect a full and gruesome account of his Australian adventure soon. In the meantime, just pull down your trousers and wait. Thank you.
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Saturday 17th July |
The first photo from Elliot's Australia mission has finally reached UK shores. On the back of the photo were Elliot's scribbled ramblings: massive sea turtle, plenty of pouch. Perth - outbreak. dreamtime. Also a stain which resembled dried blood, or perhaps Ribena. We cannot confirm if the photo shows the sunglasses of his Life Objective! Hopefully all will become clear soon...
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Thursday 27th May |
Elliot has officially left for Australia to complete his first Life Objective! Check back often to find out how he is doing, pictures & updates coming soon!
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Thursday 13th May |
Elbow drop your cousin Elliot fans, The Poo Diary has finally been updated! Major update coming soon.
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Monday 3rd May |
Roundhouse-kick yer nan Elliot fans, Elliot's going to Australia! Elliot has just recieved a massive donation from a new sponsor and will be leaving for the land down under within the month! We cannot legally disclose who the sponsor is at this time, but more info is coming soon. In the mean time, why not refresh your memories of Elliot's Australia Objective.
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Wednesday 14th April |
Butt-punch your mum Elliot fans this shit is hot! Elliot has squeezed out a bucketfuckload of Poo Diary updates for your bemusement, and all of your questions have been answered with this massive Ask Elliot update. Enjoy!
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Sunday 28th March |
Cock Slap the sky Elliot fans, Elliots new product the 'Tug Buddy' has arrived, head over to the products section now to read all about it. Praise Elliot has also been updated with more people giving thanks to Elliots existence. Ask Elliot & Poo diary updates are expected momentarily.
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Wednesday 24th March |
A photo of Elliot's next product has been leaked! The photo appeared on the web a few minutes ago from an anonomous insider, and is already circulating around the web at incredible speed. To view Elliot's latest product, dubbed 'TugBuddy' click HERE.
Shit the bed Elliot fans, we've got a whole new section for you! Why is Elliot Famous? is now online for your personal viewing. It includes a breif history as to why Elliot is the superstar he is today, as well as a few front page scans from the Daily Mail and The Times taken from the day of Elliots birth - more on their way! Ask Elliot has also been updated, as well as Pub Science which now has interviews on two of Elliots latest inventions. Expect an update from Elliots obscene Poo Diaries soon, and hardcore Elliot fans will be pleased to hear Elliot has apprved a new 'mystery product' details coming soon.
