Biography

Elliot was still-born but his condition improved with time. The whole world was shocked when it was revealed he was born without a tail-bone.

At one year old, Elliot was hit over the head with a metal bucket by his older sister, dementing his cranium. At five years, he was locked in a car which burst into flames, but luckily was saved before he was harmed.

Four years later, aged nine, a garage door slammed shut on his head, fixing his cranium problem. Aged thirteen, hair appeared on his 'privates'. He discovered he could make white wee if he played with his chubby long enough.

At fifteen, Elliot was arrested for being drunk and disorderly on a roundabout. He can't recall why this happened. Two years later, at seventeen, he decided to sleep in a field after a few drinks one night, subsequently he was run over by a Ford Fiesta full of teenagers doing donuts. He remembers little of this incident as well.

The next year, Elliot travelled around Australia where he lost his sunglasses. The year after, at nineteen, he developed haemerroids from what he claims was an 'overdose of beans'.

At twenty, Elliot accidentally started a riot at a busy pub by falling over. He managed to escape before being arrested or anyone realised why they were fighting. In 2004, aged twenty-one, he went back to Australia to look for his sunglasses. He was attacked by an Emu.