Elliot's Novel

 

Another string to Elliot's already over-burdened bow is his unrivalled literary talent. The world desperately needs him to flex his colossal intellect and blast away the rows upon rows of inane drivel cluttering our bookshelves. With this in mind, Elliot set forth and began writing 'Life with Pilez'. Master craftsmen can never be rushed in their work, so here is a tantalising preview...

The story: Born without a tailbone, Elliot H. Thorn is a glorious bound forward in human evolution. But when a ninja busts through his kitchen window while he is making a sausage sandwich one day, his glamorous celebrity lifestyle is properly flushed down the shitter.

Forced to flee from loads of ninjas and stuff, Elliot is caught in the sights of a mysterious and powerful enemy bent on preventing his incredibly advanced seed from jumping butt-first into the gene pool of humanity. But who is the shadowy puppeteer behind the murderous minions and why do they want Elliot dead?

With unprecedented levels of violence, spelling mistakes and meat, Life with Pilez is a frenzied grope through the bin bags of indecency.