Like all humans, Elliot dreams of collecting enough money from the donations of the confused strangers visiting his website to, one day, buy his own tropical island. But the dream doesn’t stop there. Oh no. From his steamy islet paradise he will run a utopian society in which buxom wenches will cavort and frolic, topless, while generously visiting much sex-fun/power-love unto the men folk (beginning, always, with Elliot). The bounder.

But has Elliot always wanted to run his own society? “No, not really,” explains Elliot, “just recently.” So is he a born leader? “Yes.”

Surprisingly, Elliot’s utopia isn’t all about intense chubby-action – he has actually laid down some ground rules for his subjects. “Everyone will have to work for themselves to survive; if someone wants to eat a banana, they will have to chew it on their own,” Elliot explains. “And crime won’t be tolerated,” he adds.

Artist's impression
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A crude bomb will be attached to all criminals’ spinal cords, ensuring that they pay back their debts to society (by building chip shops, magic fun slides and so on), if they try to escape, or even think about commiting another crime, the device will detonate, killing them instantly.

Potential waste management problems will be solved by 'pumping sewage directly into space.'